![]() ![]() “That triggered some sort of psychotic break.” Selena then checked into a psychiatric hospital for rehabilitation, dealing with psychosis that caused her to lash out at family and friends. “I just remember it being very chaotic, and she was hearing all of these voices, they kept getting louder and louder and louder,” her friend Raquelle says of this time. You’re like f*ck this, this needs to end, we need to go home.” Meanwhile, her friends try to figure out what’s wrong, and Selena doesn’t know the answer.ĪppleTV+ 2018 Psychiatric Hospital Stay and Diagnosis “I’m like, wait, what? And it was one of those moments where you look in her eyes and there’s nothing there, just pitch black. I don’t want to live,’” Selena’s former assistant Theresa says in an interview. “At one point, she’s like, ‘I don’t want to be alive right now. The Revival Tour CancellationĪfter 55 shows, and a montage of paparazzi hounding, Selena cancels the Revival tour. Selena can only marvel at the crowd, teary-eyed, as they sing. They draw into sharp relief her fears and insecurities above “Who says you’re not perfect? Who says you’re not beautiful?” hits differently when it’s being sung at you in full volume, a reminder of your impact. In footage from her Revival tour, Selena can’t help but respond with emotion when the crowd of tens of thousands sings her “Who Says” lyrics back to her. “Not needing anybody to be associated with.” Luckily, she has people around her to tell her the truth: “You already are.” A Beautiful Moment With Fans “It’s like, when am I just gonna be good enough by myself?” she sobs. Maybe they planned to re-release it or another collaboration together? Either way, being asked about the song brings up an insecurity in Selena about standing on her own, apart from Justin. She’s upset about the tour rehearsal described above, and says, “ called me about the song thing with Justin.” This could be a reference to their leaked 2015 duet “Strong,” which was quickly removed from the internet. In that Revival era, in 2016, Selena mentions ex-boyfriend Justin Bieber for the first time in the documentary. When John comes into the room, she tells him, “I just don’t want you to ever regret signing me.” She’s concerned the show feels young: “I want nothing more than to not be my past, and it comes back.”ĪppleTV+ Her Past With Justin Bieber – and a Song Never Officially Released The moment is revealing, that she still thinks about her childhood stardom and the way she was perceived, and how that impacts the way she’s perceived now. ![]() “I don’t want to disappoint John, I don’t want him to think he signed some f*cking Disney kid,” she says, tearful, about Interscope head John Janick. In that same scene, she continues to pick herself apart, and shares an underlying fear: her past. Her Fears About Being Seen as a Disney Kid She describes the voices in her head that criticize everything about herself - she glances up at the screen version of herself and thinks, “Wow that looks pretty f*cking shitty.” The pressure of all of it “sucks the life out” of her and makes her not want to perform. We see her pick apart her tour costumes, convinced everything looks bad. “I have no idea what the f*ck I’m doing,” Selena says, crying after finishing a run-through for her Revival tour. A Crisis of Confidence at Revival Tour Rehearsal Because there’s always… Selena.” Cameras flash, paparazzi call out, news headlines overwhelm, and we’re reminded about the interior differences between Selena Gomez, the person, and Selena Gomez, the brand - and how the weight of the latter informs the well-being of the former. A voiceover begins, in which Selena promises to tell only her “darkest secrets.” Then, voiceover Selena reads a diary entry from December 19: “I have to stop living like this, why have I become so far from the light? Everything I ever wished for I’ve had and done all of it. ![]() Early on in the documentary, an exhausted Selena Gomez gets ready for work and rides in a car in Paris with her friend Raquelle, who urges her to take her “morning meds,” though she’s reluctant to do so. ![]()
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